After the latest phone call last night,
the world looked like it was coming to the end of my
life.
Honestly,
I have started to feel the storm was coming since
July 10th.
My dreams, my hopes before and after...
The idea of moving going back to my hometown
has been fizzled out a little bit day by day.
I was aware
of the powerfulness of my character,
my weakness,
my neverland
and my hope;
but I have always known that if I met the exact
person,
I would change my world and create a new path for
myself.
End now;
I found myself in the boulevard of broken dreams.
Three in the morning,
the window in a half-lighted room crashed back and
up.
I straightened myself up,
approached
the window, and looked through the endless moorland.
No daisy,
no cow,
no kid.
All city was emptier than a banker's heart.
The giant city was lightened,
but I felt it was the darkest night of my life.
And out in the distance of this distorted steppe
Balefulness of the city,
Swirling clouds,
the fight of gray with the black night
Came at to me
And slapped in the middle of my face.
Slapped me
Again and again.
Every second
the light was lashing out like a huge Frankenstein.
I knew
I was the creator of God damn Pinokyo.
And, inside
On my bed,
the silhouette of my life lied down.
with a senseless glance.
The whole tableau was as mersmerizing and alien as
anything.
I wanted to approach to the skyline.
Drop a kiss in that epicene face.
And then
I felt as if it were something overlaid on reality
And my fellow ghost woke up.
There would have been an innocent soul
A twitch
A miracle…
and it would all have melted away.
Replaced with an immaculate dream.
Yet nothing happened.
No answer to my divine inspiration
No feelings
No heelings…
And for the first time in my life
I understood the meaning of ‘’twist’’
In the boulevard of broken dreams…
Sibel / July 2016